Puking Child Adds Color to Valentine’s Party

ImageShe blinked quickly to stem the tears specific to first-year teachers who still expect days in an elementary classroom to be filled with magic, learning, and unicorns. The little teacher had planned curriculum-based activities, extensive treats, and a visit from her dog for today’s Valentine’s party; the principal even attended what turned out to be a fiasco visible from Pluto. One child suddenly developed a phobia of dogs and wet her pants while hiding under the desk; another had eaten so much candy that he threw up all over himself and the student next to him, causing a chain puke involving four kids. With furrowed brow, the principal took the line of sick children to the nurse, and the disheartened teacher hauled the rest of the class and the dog off to the playground. Just as she managed to take a deep breath of sanity, the dog squatted and took an enormous dump on the pristine mulch beneath the swing.

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27 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sandra
    Apr 21, 2012 @ 13:51:38

    This had me in fits. Soooo funny, ‘chain pukes’ (don’t you just love ‘em) and ‘playground dumps’. Terrific. I’ve had days like that too.

    Reply

  2. the howler and me
    Apr 21, 2012 @ 14:10:57

    ha!

    Reply

  3. doncarroll
    Apr 21, 2012 @ 14:47:58

    it’s bad enough with just one, but four is quite dramatic. and the dog, well, it puts a finishing touch on a tough day. at least i can laugh, i wasn’t there for that!!

    Reply

  4. deanjbaker
    Apr 21, 2012 @ 15:20:55

    I’d have been no help because I’d have stood there laughing my ass off, and probably added to the orchestral noises – enjoyed, Jennifer

    Reply

  5. jeanelaine
    Apr 21, 2012 @ 19:30:40

    This was great! My daughter is a teacher and I could so see this. http://jemcogdell.blogspot.com/2012/04/fsf-flash-fiction-runway.html

    Reply

  6. clownonfire
    Apr 21, 2012 @ 23:36:42

    Jenn,
    God you’re funny… Really…
    Le Clown

    Reply

  7. colonialist
    Apr 22, 2012 @ 08:13:32

    The ‘chain puke’ hit my funny button bigtime!

    Reply

  8. Claire
    Apr 23, 2012 @ 00:49:05

    Had me laughing out loud-great writing! I love your descriptions of the puke train and the dog, and the smashing realization hit of the little teacher that teaching is not all rainbows. Wonderfully written response!

    Reply

  9. El Guapo
    Apr 23, 2012 @ 02:50:39

    Great story! Thanks for it – I’ll just remember this as soon as Monday goes to hell.

    Reply

  10. Linda
    Apr 23, 2012 @ 13:30:51

    Very descriptive. You packed a lot of action into those 5 sentences. I was right there, and at the same time, glad I wasn’t.

    Reply

  11. Jen and Tonic
    Apr 24, 2012 @ 04:44:31

    The dog taking a dump was the most romantic part of this whole post <3

    Reply

  12. Lillie McFerrin
    Apr 26, 2012 @ 01:11:04

    Oh, that poor teacher! This was so funny. Really enjoyed it :)

    Reply

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