Ten Things That Just Flip My Skirt.

As you all know, I’m extremely thankful for my family, husband, children, health, house, job, etc. There are some other things for which I am grateful as well. I am listing them for Stasha’s Monday Listicle—on Tuesday.

  1. Patience. Lil’ P. is finessing his prowess with a spoon. This explains why I have applesauce in my eye. I am also thankful for the shower curtain I spread out beneath the high chair. Self-control is another biggie.
  2. Carpet cleaner.
  3. The fact that I’m a multi-tasking GENIUS. This morning, Lil’ K. announced that she needed to pee, launched herself from her bed, and headed for the upstairs bathroom. I was downstairs pulling Lil’ P. off the top of the dining room table, when I heard sudden sobbing and what sounded like a downpour on the dining room ceiling.  She didn’t make it to the toilet. Shit.
  4. The fact that I haven’t put the Exersaucer thingy away. I dropped Lil’ P. into the seat while I went up to see about Lil’ K.’s flood. His legs stretched all the way out from under all the toys, but he was contained.
  5. Bleach and a Shop-Vac.
  6. Cartoons. I used to be thankful for Nick Jr. until those bastards at Viacom decided that Direct TV and I needed to pony up another billion for my few minutes of marketing-free daily sanity. Screw you, Viacom. At least there’s Disney and Sprout and all those stupid Dream Light commercials.
  7. ”Every Sperm Is Sacred” on my iPod for when my kid pees on the floor.
  8. “The Philosopher’s Drinking Song” on my iPod for when I accidently calculate the amount of time I spend cleaning up bodily excretions.
  9. Date nights. Heh Heh.
  10. The fact that I live with such founts of hilarity—there’s no excuse for writer’s block in this house.

36 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. hughcurtler
    Jul 17, 2012 @ 15:49:11

    And I am thankful that I discovered your blog. It gives me a lift every time I read it! You have a true gift!

    Reply

  2. Sword-chinned bitch
    Jul 17, 2012 @ 16:03:52

    ‘Date nights. Heh Heh.’ — fun-ny!! I don’t have children but my sister is married with a four year old an one year old. I enjoy comparing and learning from these mommy experiences.

    Reply

  3. clownonfire
    Jul 17, 2012 @ 16:05:56

    Jenn,
    ”Every Sperm Is Sacred” on my iPod for when my kid pees on the floor.” – TWP was right last night when he suggested I should have tea with John Cleese.

    Where is you being grateful for Le Clown?
    Le Clown

    Reply

  4. totsymae1011
    Jul 17, 2012 @ 16:19:36

    I’d be thankful for a date. A decent one, that is. Not even likely in The Kingdom.

    Reply

  5. Cathy
    Jul 17, 2012 @ 17:05:36

    # 11 – Thankful for Mommy’s night off! One night a week I smear black goop from Bath and bodyworks on my face and ignore everyone! God help anyone who interrupts black goop face mommy!

    Reply

  6. Carrie Rubin
    Jul 17, 2012 @ 17:14:59

    Ahh, yes, I remember the big plastic mat under my kid’s highchair. Really added some class to my kitchen. :)

    Reply

  7. Stasha
    Jul 17, 2012 @ 17:36:53

    I feel like a lot of these have to do with pee. Except #9? I hope. Fun list, but yours always are!!!

    Reply

  8. braintomahawk
    Jul 17, 2012 @ 20:42:07

    Netflix might have enough kid enjoyment – I will never pay for cable, so my subscription is well worth it.

    Reply

  9. Robbie
    Jul 18, 2012 @ 01:36:34

    You have dates? WOW! How does that even happen? I’d be thankful to have a conversation with Hubs without any interruptions.

    Reply

  10. Jo-Anne Meadows
    Jul 18, 2012 @ 03:17:36

    Me I love pain killing tablets but then I am one of those people who are prone to headaches…….lucky me………….lol
    I think most parents love Cartoons they will keep children our of our hair for a short while and are a blessing when we are trying to cook a meal and do not want them underfoot: http://jo-annemotherandnanna.blogspot.com.au/

    Reply

  11. dinnerversions
    Jul 18, 2012 @ 06:06:05

    Amen to date nights! You should also be grateful to have parents nearby. (Or maybe not, depending on your parents. ;) )
    I was grateful for shower curtains on the floor too, and painting smocks that double as bibs!

    Reply

  12. El Guapo
    Jul 18, 2012 @ 18:50:12

    Well, sounds like you had quite the…eventful morning.
    But remember, one writers domestic nightmare is another readers much laughed over blog post.
    Or something…

    Reply

  13. doncarroll
    Jul 19, 2012 @ 00:12:40

    very funny stuff jenn. i don’t think i want to be in that position again. but whatever you day save the 11th for a happy one as to your title….*LOL* you are a PA girl i think – right? are you getting blasted with heat too?

    Reply

  14. Smaktakula
    Jul 19, 2012 @ 21:40:34

    I’ve been meaning to comment on this since it popped into my inbox several days ago, but I’ve been working on a big work project that’ll keep me on semi-lockdown until September (and that’s me being optimistic about meeting my deadline).

    However, I NEVER get tired of lists of things people are grateful for, even when (unlike yours) they’re not funny, just lists of things people are happy about.
    Good, good, good for you! And then it was funny, so bonus.

    I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to see someone who KNOWS they’ve got a good life. I’m not talking about “Hey, I’m rich as f*** and want to let you know about it,” or “I’m Mr. Party guy and my life is an unending adventure (in crushing lonlieness). I’m talking about being happy to spend the day above ground.

    What you may not know (or you may very well know) is that, when, as in this post, you concentrate on things for which you are grateful, it’s actually a vicious cycle (only not-so-vicious), enhancing your mood which tends to make you more grateful for things. And of course, these things have an effect not only on YOUR physical and mental health. And as head of the household (I don’t know about the dynamics of your family, but if it’s anything like mine, YOU run the show) you also exert a huge impact on the emotional barometer for everyone around you, which means that the positive effects are shared, and more likely to keep up that “vicious” cycle.

    Like I said, you may already know these things (it’s clear that you do at least on an instinctual level or you wouldn’t live the way you do), but if you don’t, this isn’t street-corner philosophy, but actual tested science.

    Keep on with your bad self.

    Reply

    • Smaktakula
      Jul 19, 2012 @ 21:41:04

      Seriously, I wish I could like this twice.

      Reply

    • Jennifer Worrell
      Jul 20, 2012 @ 01:11:05

      I’m just going to sit quietly for a minute and take that in. I am so touched right now. The part about “if Mama ain’t happy, no one is happy” is so true, and I have finally figured that out. That’s why I work so hard to practice gratitude. I’ve screwed up in this area before with pretty sad consequences. I really appreciate your taking the time to share such a thoughtful comment. I am studying up my science around here, and I love the results. Ain’t life grand?

      Be well:)

      Reply

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