Ten Sounds That Make Me Tremble (and Not in a Good Way!)

Stasha over at Northwest Mommy has challenged us this week to list ten sounds that drive us insane. Huh. This should be fun.

  1. I hate it when people scratch denim. If you are wearing jeans and your leg itches, leave the room to scratch it. Otherwise, I’ll crash to the floor and writhe unattractively while holding my ears. Does this make me weird?
  2. The freakin’ Bee Gees and Barry Manilow–what were our parents thinking? I also cringe at the sound of a sparkly jumpsuit exploding.
  3. The sound thighs make when they rub together during some sort of lame aerobic activity. The crackling flames after one’s private parts have been set afire make me a little jittery, too.
  4. Toddler temper tantrum screaming, particularly at a birthday party when the birthday child is trying to open presents. It sucks even more when you gave birth to the screaming toddler and incited the tantrum by pulling his head out of the remnants of some other kid’s used cake and ice cream.
  5. Dull thuds, as in the sounds that little kids’ heads make when they strike the floor—these turn me into a ball of panicky mush. I did an Olympic worthy swan dive the other day to save Lil’ P. from disaster after he tried to climb the side of our staircase and lost his grip.
  6. Beagle howls from the swamp behind our house. If the sound travels, it means Crackhead is chasing something that she has no prayer of catching. If the howls don’t move, it means Crackhead has cornered an angry beast with no feet. The last time I heard this particular noise, I left the vet’s office with a swollen dog and two hundred fewer dollars.
  7. Sweaty boob suckage
  8. Silence—not the nap time kind, and not the kind where all children are at Mamaw and Pawpaw’s house. This is the silence that ensues when small children engage themselves in a plot to remove a wing of the house.
  9. The sound of a box of cheese crackers scraping across the counter, opening, and hitting the floor
  10. The sound of a small person’s “Uh, oh” as they stand over some sort of atomic disaster of their own creation. If the “uh, oh” is followed by a “MAMA!!!” from a bigger small person of the tattling sort, grab the bug-out bag and run from the fall-out.

37 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sword-chinned bitch
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 14:22:03

    ‘Uh, oh’ — I can visualize this — hahaha!

    Reply

  2. clownonfire
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 14:35:58

    Jenn,
    The Good Life is such a great band, and I thought for a minute, you were writing a post about their sound… Which is one of my top ten sounds on any given day. Off topic, of course, but that’s Le Clown for you.

    Le Clown

    Reply

  3. Diane (@BeStillaMinute)
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 15:22:44

    Oh, numbers 8, 9 and 10 I so get! Or what about the sound of a pitcher of something like Kool-Aid or sweet tea hitting the kitchen floor, followed by “MOMMM!”

    Reply

  4. chapterfourfivesix
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 17:12:42

    Is there an actual name/disorder for going completely batshit over certain sounds? I have problems with snores/throat and nose related whistles and gurgles, the sound of someone filing their nails… assorted other things. I go into full-on body temper tantrum mode! Love it when at least one other person on earth has the same kind of crazy- feels like it has to be much less serious and deadly, haha.

    Reply

  5. hughcurtler
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 17:22:50

    I’ll have to take your word about #7. But what about the doctor looking at something on your body and saying Hmmmm…..??:) Thanks for the fun blog (as always).

    Reply

    • Jennifer Worrell
      Jul 30, 2012 @ 17:56:44

      I’ve HAD that…it was my dentist looking at something on my X-Ray. I had this weird growth coming from the root of one of my teeth. Turns out it was nothing, but I was sweatin’ it!

      Reply

  6. Kelly Fox
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 18:55:11

    Other people chewing, swallowing loudly, chewing with their mouths open..anything that involves me hearing them masticate their food like a cow with a mouth full of cud.
    Drives me nuts.
    The distinctive sound of a finger sliding out from a nose and gliding across denim beats your denim scratching! EEEUUUWW!
    I grossed myself out.

    Reply

    • Jennifer Worrell
      Jul 31, 2012 @ 01:57:32

      The boogers drown out the scratching, though. I hate boogers, but I cringe at denim scratching more. Cud? EWWWWW! However, I like the word “masticate.” Sounds like another funny word:)

      Reply

  7. changeforbetterme
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 19:27:08

    LOL…..#7 made me laugh out loud…..the rest I’ll take your word for it cus I got no kids……now if I hear something fall off the kitchen counter….I know its my cat and I’ll be in rescue mode of said item….hahaha

    Reply

  8. Delilah
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 21:58:12

    #1. Oh how I hate #1. I’m shuddering and twitching just thinking about it.

    Reply

  9. Tessa
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 22:11:37

    Ahhh the delights of motherhood! :-)

    Reply

  10. dianasschwenk
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 23:50:24

    Oh I hated the sound of a head thudding on the ground!

    Reply

  11. gigoid
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 23:50:47

    Jenn… you touched a common nerve here, for sure… some thoughts..
    #1 Yes, it does.
    #2 Your parents were more subtly cruel than you knew, obviously…
    #7 I Do NOT want to ever know what you mean by that….
    #8 -10 Any anomalous sound involving children is terrifying, mostly from prior experience dealing with the consequences of (not)hearing it…. Hearing whispers is also a precursor that can cause shivers….

    Great post!…. It brought back some delightful, if painful, memories… :-)

    Reply

    • Jennifer Worrell
      Jul 31, 2012 @ 02:02:37

      YOU, TOO? I thought I was the only one who couldn’t deal with denim scratching, and now Delilah and I have found a brother in the realm of the denim scratching creepy crawlies!!!!! Actually, my parents didn’t really listen to those groups–other kids’ parents did, though. ICK! We listened to Kenny Rogers and the Oak Ridge Boys. For many, that would be cruel. There’s a video of me as a little kid singing “Elvira.” My father has it hidden so I can’t destroy it:)

      Reply

  12. Adventures w/Autism (@dkotucker)
    Jul 31, 2012 @ 04:47:01

    Owwwww to number 5. Makes me cringe. Number 9 and 10 make me shake my head. I hate the sound of a gazillion dry goods hitting the floor. :O

    Reply

  13. Mamarazzi
    Jul 31, 2012 @ 10:50:45

    LMAO @ sweaty boob suckage…i can’t even imagine, but it made me laugh.

    Reply

  14. braintomahawk
    Jul 31, 2012 @ 16:35:57

    Working on my own list ;). I put silence somewhere else…

    Reply

    • braintomahawk
      Jul 31, 2012 @ 16:37:59

      sorry entered too soon. Yes, the context of quiet KIDS is not a comforting one – though I wonder in your list, sometimes it’s just as bad when they ARE talking as when they are silent ;)

      Reply

  15. doncarroll
    Jul 31, 2012 @ 17:06:21

    haha on number two and they are in the same class as vanilla ice.

    Reply

  16. sisterhoodofthesensiblemoms
    Jul 31, 2012 @ 17:47:37

    Your list was laugh out loud funny! It seems it can be divided into two categories: friction and children. You especially killed me with #4. Truth be told. Ellen

    Reply

  17. Stasha
    Aug 01, 2012 @ 04:02:47

    My boobs Re too small to have that particular issue. But the uh oh I can relate :) great list, you sure pulled out some mad ones from the hat!

    Reply

  18. Krystyn
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 02:05:09

    Oh the quiet..and the messes that typically are found soon after. No good.

    My sister can’t stand the sound of people biting their forks. So much so that if you do bite your fork, she will promptly hand you a plastic one to use. She’s nice like that.

    Reply

  19. Smaktakula
    Aug 06, 2012 @ 04:42:32

    Some of those don’t bug me at all (denim, grater) and others I have no real concept of (boob suckage), but I am SO with you regarding silent children. A silent child is an evil child.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 155 other followers

%d bloggers like this: