Waiting

Last week, I finished editing my manuscripts and sent them both to different agents for consideration. I’m really pleased with myself. Now, I have to wait for some sort of response.

And wait.

Tick.

And wait.

Tock.

To pass the time, I’ve devised a list of situations in which waiting sucks major balls.

  1. Christmas—duh.
  2. For a baby when you can’t have one
  3. For your 21st birthday when all your friends are shitfaced at the bar and you’re stuck with the car keys, drinking a Diet Coke, and wearing a lame-assed purple wrist band
  4. For a tow truck when your hooptie has dumped you on the side of a sketchy road in a flarking thunderstorm.
  5. A seat in the ladies room at Lilith Fair
  6. The season premiere of Big Bang Theory
  7. Twiddling my thumbs while the dog examines every blade of grass to analyze its crapworthiness when it’s snowing/raining/lightning/hot as hell/colder than a witch’s tit in a meatlocker
  8. For Christian Grey to pull out the big guns and do something exciting in Fifty Shades of Grey—Jesus, I’m finished with the third book, and I’m still trying to figure what all the fuss is about.
  9. Summer vacation
  10. Waiting for Aunt Flo to deliver her monthly gift after a teenaged indiscretion
  11. Waiting for Aunt Flo to arrive after ANY indiscretion
  12. Payday
  13. For the sharks to eat those stupid diver people in the movie Open Water
  14. For someone to post bail (oooooops!)
  15. For Election 2012 to be over so we don’t have to listen to mud-slinging campaign ads where Mitt Romney sings patriotic songs.
  16. Dilation and effacement
  17. For the milk to come in
  18. For the walls of one’s vagina to knit back together after the miracle of birth
  19. The first constitutional after an episiotomy.
  20. For your migraine/happy/downer/upper/erectile dysfunction pills to kick in
  21. For the damn cookies to come out of the oven

Not all of these apply to me, I swear–at least not the jail one. I have to tell you that because my mom reads this. SHHHHHH!

34 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Heather Davis
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 03:06:48

    I’ll be waiting with you – I hope you hear something swiftly and that it’s nothing but positive! :)

    Reply

  2. changeforbetterme
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 03:32:34

    wow! congrats for sending them in! Hope it’s a fast acceptance :-) and as usual your post made me laugh.

    Reply

  3. Sword-chinned bitch
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 04:07:11

    That last one is a bitch!

    Reply

  4. joannerambling
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 05:19:45

    Waiting for your teenage daughter to come home and then ringing her and asking where the hell she is it is past her curfew…………..waiting for your hair to grew out after a shocking hair cut………..lol

    Reply

  5. hughcurtler
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 11:38:54

    I love reading your blogs! (I can relate to some — but not all — of these, especially #6. My favorite show.)

    Reply

  6. clownonfire
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 11:39:16

    Jenn,
    Good for you! I’m looking to their feedback… As to “For the walls of one’s vagina to knit back together after the miracle of birth”, I know, I’ve been waiting for mine to recover from Tiny Geek’s birth,and so far, to no avail. It actually looks like I have a penis now.
    Le Clown

    Reply

  7. El Guapo
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 11:57:03

    22 – waiting for the damned train I’m on to move.

    Congrats on submitting your manuscripts! Can’t wait to see your name in ink!

    Reply

  8. craftcrazygran
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 14:14:37

    Oooh, at least you have a finished manuscript. You know I went public on my books (that are being written) just so that I’d be forced to work on them!
    Well done, waiting in anticipation!

    Reply

  9. English Rose-C
    Aug 02, 2012 @ 18:47:44

    Woots! *hands Jenn a pack of hards to play with* Do you like the pix of CG??? LOL.
    Here’s something you don’t have to wait for any longer: I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award :-D. More details on my post

    Reply

  10. Cathy
    Aug 05, 2012 @ 01:14:55

    5 made me LOL! I have mentioned that concert about 3 times in the past month and I haven’t a clue why. Is it still going on??
    BTW – Good luck on the book submission! I found several agents on twitter and several do live evals on certain days.

    Reply

    • Jennifer Worrell
      Aug 05, 2012 @ 01:36:48

      I loved Lilith Fair, and I’m sad to say that I don’t think it’s happening anymore. What a HOOT! Twitter, huh? I’ve got to check that out!

      Reply

      • Cathy
        Aug 05, 2012 @ 01:47:21

        Seriously on the twitter search type in literary and all these agents pop up. I added them to a literary list and started to follow and that is how I found all these neat things they do to modernize the submission process. Also go to the library and pick up Jeff Herman’s guide to literary agents. It is a wonderful resource

      • Jennifer Worrell
        Aug 05, 2012 @ 02:05:56

        I’m all over that! It must be working for you–didn’t you say you had projects going on all summer?

      • Cathy
        Aug 05, 2012 @ 02:31:38

        I didn’t get my book deal with any agents on twitter but it seems like a pretty darn viable option! Go to my twitter and look under my list section for Rockstar Literary if not I will add you to the list so you could view the agents and publishers on there. I hope it helps!

      • Jennifer Worrell
        Aug 05, 2012 @ 02:38:28

        Bless you! I really appreciate it! I’ll work on it tomorrow!

      • Cathy
        Aug 05, 2012 @ 23:53:30

        I added you to my list named Literary rockstars and made it public so you could review it. If you can’t see it send me a message and I will figure out how to make sure you have access. Thetre are about 300+ contacts there plus publishers. You know me I’m all about #WomenSupportingWomen

      • Jennifer Worrell
        Aug 06, 2012 @ 03:48:03

        You are amazing! Thank you so much! Going on Twitter tomorrow to check it out!

  11. Annabelle
    Aug 06, 2012 @ 13:04:55

    Oh, #3. Being sober and waiting for drunk people is the worst. Although i too cannot wait for the political ads to be over.

    Good luck with the queries!

    Reply

    • Jennifer Worrell
      Aug 07, 2012 @ 03:06:36

      Thanks! # 3 was autobiographical, although I did sneak a jello shooter at a craphole called the Insect Club when I was 19. My friends had all gone next door to the over 21 club. GAH!

      Reply

  12. doncarroll
    Aug 06, 2012 @ 22:39:15

    all the best into finding that agent:) you have some interesting ones here in regards to waiting. the season premiere of the big bang theory was a laugher here.

    Reply

  13. newsofthetimes
    Aug 07, 2012 @ 15:09:50

    #7 yes!!! And my pup seems to be much more selective in bad weather! ;-) Great list!!!

    Reply

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