Revenge Descends Like Thunder

The new teacher marveled that she had been issued a master key by mistake. She promised herself she wouldn’t abuse her privilege. She came to school on the weekends to work, but only snooped in rooms with the best ideas to photograph and steal for future classes.

The time had come, however, for her to really put her special key to use. Her neighbor and team leader needed a bit of correction.

The team leader had cornered her in the hall that first day and said, “New teachers do not get a say in team decisions we make. Is that understood?”

The newbie smiled sweetly and nodded, filing this note away in her mental computer. From then on, “Ms. Witch,” as the new teacher referred to her persnickety leader, steamrolled over their milder-mannered colleagues with the thunder of dated ideas.

The final straw came one Friday, when the new teacher was modeling storywriting on the board for her students. The class called out suggestions, the teacher printed them on the board, and excitement built. Suddenly, the door opened, and Ms. Witch burst in.

“You are writing on your board too loudly and disturbing my students!” she snarled. The new teacher cocked her head to the side and apologized. Ms. Witch left, slamming the door. The newbie smiled at her shocked students and continued as though nothing had happened, but inwardly, she was hatching an amusing plan. Her mama had schooled her in graciousness, but her daddy had taught her to fight.

That afternoon, the new teacher headed for the bait store. She made her purchase and returned to school late. She let herself into Ms. Witch’s room and chose three of the fattest, loudest crickets in her bait bucket. She placed the bugs with food in the far corner behind a bookshelf in a previously cased location Mr. Witch was too short to uncover. The thunder of concerted chirping echoed in the room as the newbie closed the door behind her.

This is a work of pure fiction–any resemblance to persons or crickets living or dead is purely coincidental. I do not have, nor have ever had, the ovaries, stealthiness, or the master key needed to pull this off. I just thought about it once a LONG time ago. 

18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kelly Garriott Waite
    May 03, 2012 @ 12:04:42

    LOVED this! My favorite line? Her mama had schooled her in graciousness, but her daddy had taught her to fight.

    I was a newbie once and, while the students liked me, some of my fellow teachers did not. They often tried to put me in my place by telling me, ‘that’s not how it’s done around here.” They continually refused to change. So I did. I left.


  2. craftcrazygran
    May 03, 2012 @ 13:32:19

    Sweet revenge! I like this!


  3. Annabelle
    May 03, 2012 @ 13:55:52

    Oh, how tempting that would be! Vicariously satisfying.


  4. Amanda
    May 03, 2012 @ 14:03:55

    I liked this! And I really liked your disclaimer at the end (resemblance to crickets! ovaries!). A friend of mine & I once dreamed of sneaking into school & spreading mayonnaise on the hidden side of the ceiling tiles over the summer in the classroom of a particularly snarky teacher. I don’t know if it would have resulted in the desired effect, but it gave us some good laughs.


  5. Paula J
    May 03, 2012 @ 14:35:57

    This is delicious!


  6. braintomahawk
    May 03, 2012 @ 17:32:08

    carrying on and slamming doors about how someone else is making noise – brilliant😉


  7. doncarroll
    May 03, 2012 @ 20:02:04

    love this one jenn. the revenge factor was a perfect one to get even…:)


  8. Christine
    May 03, 2012 @ 22:50:21

    You know, I have had the phrase “the thunder of crickets” rattling around in my head for days, but couldn’t figure out how to pull it off. You did this splendidly!


  9. jannatwrites
    May 03, 2012 @ 23:58:54

    I knew there would be trouble when I read this line: “Her mama had schooled her in graciousness, but her daddy had taught her to fight.”

    This was sweet revenge…not too mean, but just enough annoyance to make it worth it:)


  10. k~
    May 04, 2012 @ 00:14:18

    Oh this is funny. Ms. Witch indeed! heh


  11. Jamie
    May 04, 2012 @ 12:49:38

    Too good. There was a boss in my past that I wish I’d had the foresight to sprinkle a few crickets in her office.


  12. trifectawriting
    May 04, 2012 @ 15:07:17

    Brilliant! I wouldn’t mind getting one of those master keys…Funny story, really well told. You had us on the side of the newbie immediately. Thanks for linking up.


  13. idiosyncratic eye
    May 04, 2012 @ 21:36:17

    I like the idea that teachers aren’t too old to play. :)


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