Kitties Need Love, Too!

Since I’ve been on a 50 Shades of Gray and herpetological porn kick lately, I thought I would maintain the momentum with a little story about the feline gigolo that showed up at our house a few years back.

I was out on the back deck doing yoga when I caught a slight movement out of the corner of my eye. I twisted myself out of a stiff downward facing dog to behold a skinny, but poised, black cat sitting at the top of the deck steps. His nose and ears looked runny—clearly, this animal had seen better days, but there was something about him. Even though we were complete strangers, this cat clearly had no fear of me. He stood from his sitting position, stretched majestically, and proceeded to strut around my deck with his tail in the air.

Clearly, he wanted me to see that he was ALL boy. As he oozed himself all around, I swear I heard “Wakka Chicka Wakka Chicka” music playing from somewhere. The only thing this cat needed to complete his image was a lime green leisure suit. Whether I liked it or not, this beast clearly had moved in. I went in to get him a bowl of milk, and he lapped it up greedily before strutting around some more. I then went in to get him a can of tuna. Again, he ate as if his tail were on fire. He had another female under this spell, helplessly doing his bidding.

Mr. Jenn rolled his eyes when he saw “Giggy-Lo,” as I named our newest family member. Giggy tried his seductive tactics on my husband, to no avail.

“If there’s a kitty clap, that thing probably has it,” Mr. Jenn noted.

The Gigster hung around for about a year. I guess if I had taken him to the vet to have all his problems, um, fixed, this creature would have become a permanent fixture.

“Don’t you dare spend any money on that animal,” said Mr. Jenn firmly. “Besides, it would be a shame to do that to him.”

Mr. Jenn believes in free love and feral cats apparently. Every now and then I’ll see a black cat wandering around in the woods and wonder about the poor female Giggy-Lo seduced. I can guarantee you this, though: she didn’t go open him a can of tuna!

Mama’s Losin’ It

28 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Smaktakula
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 15:36:25

    Okay, when I first saw the title “Kitties Need Love Too,” I thought, what’s happened to JW–has she become a Hallmark Card?

    Then I saw it was about a slut kitty, and I knew all was as it should be.

    Great post!


  2. clownonfire
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 16:33:24

    Don’t listen to the smak talk from this guy above… Speaking of cats, did you read The Ringmistress’ post on the disappearance of ours today?
    Le Clown


  3. Tessa
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 17:10:56

    Reminds me of a cat we had. One day my son came home with a pure white cat trailing behind him. My husband, at the time, said “Do NOT feed that cat, we do not need another one!” We didn’t, she stayed anyhow. She was quite capable of feeding herself (meaning she caught all types of poor woodland creatures…we lived in the woods on a lake at the time). Months later she became an actual member of the family including cat food and milk, but she still felt a need to bring us presents of chipmunks, rabbits and birds, ugh! Thank heavens she left the “snakes” alone LOL!


  4. meizac
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 18:19:02

    Frig. The black whore cat in a lime green leisure suit is cracking me up.:)


  5. crubin
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 20:14:16

    “kitty clap”–too funny. Does that mean it’s time for kitty condoms?


  6. Main Street Musings Blog
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 21:03:37

    Sounds like kitty liked downward doggy!:)


  7. dianasschwenk
    Jul 06, 2012 @ 23:07:37

    Hahaha, great story and I love the 50-shade kick you’re on – keep them coming!


  8. gene3067
    Jul 07, 2012 @ 00:04:31

    Sounds like he got Giggy with it.


  9. May
    Jul 07, 2012 @ 04:17:54

    Wakka Chicka music! Perfect!


  10. doncarroll
    Jul 07, 2012 @ 16:22:03

    nice little story on the feline. and the title is certainly true no matter how one looks at it:)


  11. Stasha
    Jul 08, 2012 @ 05:30:06

    You have time to do yoga?!?


  12. Annabelle
    Jul 09, 2012 @ 20:49:00

    Those black ones are slick, I’m telling you!


  13. craftcrazygran
    Jul 11, 2012 @ 07:02:31



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